First off I'm breaking my no Internet rule after 8pm at night. I'm frustrated and needed to vent and there is nobody around to talk to so I had to get online.
Secondly the day wasn't bad really just some rough moments for me. What happened you ask? Well look at the picture above. I spent the morning outside with my kids playing. Fun except for the part where my allergies take over and I get so impossibly tired and my head feels like it's going to explode. I pushed through though and had a nice impromptu picnic outside with the family where I ate all the rest of my daily calories allowed before noon. Frustrated that a simple meal did me in I started to feel frustrated. I talked to Todd about my frustrations and how it felt like everything was against me to get to the goal weight I have. He tried to make me feel better and pointed out how well I've been doing, how great I look, and all those things that a good husband should say. After I cried (which didn't help me feel better) I took a nap.
I felt a little better and packed up the kids to go to see some family for the Memorial Day cookout. Had a great time visiting and then my allergies flared up again. The picture above does not show you just how bad it really is. It's gross. When you're eyes ooze it's gross. Ick! Anyways we left the cookout (again where I tried to eat well but since I was already over my calories) and felt bad for that.
Ok so I know it sounds like I'm whining. I am. I'm tired, my head, is killing me, my eyes are puffy and gross and I'm just flat out frustrated. No workouts in 3 days because I've been so exhausted because of the allergy stuff and it feels like I'll never reach my goal. I dunno just feeling down. So I guess what I'm asking is what do you do when you feel down and feeling like a failure? I need some help.
Nikki!!! You are doing great, seriously. Even the fact that you are being honest in your struggle online, that's a huge step in vulnerability.
ReplyDeleteFirst - your allergies! I thought mine were bad!!! How do you manage? What meds are you on? :(
Second - when I am down, I have to remember that my ups and downs are part of the process. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the results so far that I don't embrace the process for what it is, I'm processing through my issues...if it's my weight, my eating, my hair...the ups come with the downs. Sometimes I give myself a lot of grace and let myself cry and then pick myself up again the next day...I give myself a lot of peptalks in the shower! You got this Nikki!
For my allergies I take Zyrtec and benadryl daily. I have to since nothing is strong enough to take care of it by itself. The doctor can't pinpoint what I'm allergic to exactly and I don't have health insurance for me to do any extensive testing. Also it's very random when it happens so this morning I could be fine and in a couple of hours be a big icky mess because of it. I have to carry an epi-pen with me at all times because it's gotten so bad and they are afraid I'll have another really bad attack and not be able to breathe. Fun huh? As for managing I just push through as much as I can thats all I can do otherwise I'd be in bed sleeping until summer arrives. lol.
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