169.5

Just weighed myself which is something I haven't done in awhile. 169.5lbs. My goal weight is 150. I think the last time I weighed myself I was somewhere around 165ish. I can tell I've been slacking with my diet and exercise.

I've been having more headaches, my stomach feels upset all the time (lack of a proper diet will do it), and my workouts/runs are sporadic at best. I don't like the way I feel and I don't like the way that I'm looking at myself.

Trying to be positive though and acknowledge the process and how far I've come. I went ahead and signed up for 2 more 5ks. November 6th for the Veteran's Center and then November 20th Turkey strut. I will find my groove again and get back to being focused.

One of the big reasons my focus has been gone is that we made a big decision about making a big move to Portland next year. It has taken a lot out of me to work on this big move. I've been cleaning and purging the house of unwanted stuff, I've been researching jobs/apartments/schools etc in Portland. I've been trying to focus on eco friendly changes and researching about ways to do that and how to implement those changes now and after the move. I've also spent a great deal of time just sorting and sorting more and more stuff.

If goodwill had a punch card for every time I made a donation I'd have 3 or 4 cards full. lol. It's mentally exhausting to spend so much of my time on this stuff. I'm living a life of grey right now while we figure out where our lives are headed and what we need to do to prepare for that. I'm not complaining because even though I kinda enjoy this beautiful chaos we are in right now I realize that I'm not taking care of myself the way that I want to or the way that I should.

I think I'm to a point though where I know it's time to get back to me. Time to spend the time I need to feel like me otherwise all this other stuff isn't going to happen if I'm sick or burnout. Fueling my body with sugar and caffeine is not healthy for me (and it's added some weight back on because of it)

I wrote out a meal plan and grocery list today, I raked the leaves and spent time just enjoying the day with the kids, I took time to take a hot shower and have a reasonable portion of ice cream. Today was probably the first day in over 2 weeks that I let myself relax and just enjoy things.

Tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. I'm going to work for a little more than half the day and then we are having family photos done. I'm going to enjoy my day, my family, and try to remember to take things one at a time.